So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.When I write dating tips and relationship advice for a new mode, I am writing to a female audience.But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!
A few months ago, I was on a date with a guy when he asked me the second-date question I hate the most: “When was your last serious relationship? From where I’m standing, I’ve been in three “serious” relationships: one in high school, one in college, and one a few years post-college.Could you imagine what you would want to do if that needy guy was texting you right now?